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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?